DID YOU LOSE SOMETHING?
Dear Sir, Madame, Head of Household, To Whom It May Concern,
Are you missing something? Cold? Wet?
No, not beer. Keep guessing. Here’s another hint….
Please come get your rain and take it home with you. I’ll wrap it up for you. I know, you’re thinking to yourself, “Self, He lives in Oregon. Birthplace of Rain!”
Yeah…not so much, no. As in, Yeah, it does rain. A lot. Too much for my taste. And yes, we need the rain because, at the end of the day, when you’re done fighting off the Zombie Hordes, scraping the brains off (remember, head shots only) and into the 3rd or 4th beer, you remember that it hasn’t rained in like 3 months. This I can guarantee as my lawn….well, I was going to say brown, but because of YOUR DELUGE, it’s…what color is soggy?
I just need a month, OK? A sprinkle here and there is fine. I like rainbows, but only with a pot of gold at the end, not mud. The bamboo(s) and Japanese Maples (thanks for asking) like rain. “LIKE,” not “LOVE.” I was repotting them and decided to buy topsoil and compost in bulk. Bought six yards. Good stuff. Can’t even begin to guess how many bags that would be, but I’ve got a pile of dirt in my yard the size of a huge pile of dirt for the price of 10 bags of dirt. Managed to repot 29 plants before your rain came. Still have a large pile of dirt. Wet, soggy dirt. I used all of my tarps under the soil. Borrowed a big tarp from Bamboo Guy, but it only covered half of the pile. By the time my friend Henry came over with a few more and after his trunk lock froze and he had to drive 30 miles roundtrip to get it replaced and come back, well friends, lets remember that ‘dirt’ and ‘ooze’ have the same number of letters.
I still have more plants coming and they will need to be repotted with DIRT, not MUD. After that, there’s a BIG HOLE that I made whilst preparing for more bamboo that will need to be filled it with DIRT, not MUD. After that, hell, bring it on. I bough 2 new rain jackets today. In a perfect world, of course, they would just stay in the car DRY. But I can’t afford the rent in a perfect world, so wet they’ll get.
The parental units were in town last week. Had five DRY days. The dad says that it’s because of him. To whit, every vacation on the coast for the last dozen years has been dry. Three days after they went home, RAIN. I asked my mom to send him back, but she can’t afford the postage.
Speaking of Bamboo Guy, the nursery is almost empty. A couple from Portland have threatened to buy his remaining stock, so if you want any, let me know STAT and I’ll grab some. Less than 30 maples left. I’m getting a few for Leila tomorrow.
My neck is feeling better. My hand is not. I hope this doesn’t bring the surgeon’s batting average down. It’s only been 3.5 months since surgery, so maybe there’s hope yet. Been using micro current, mirror box therapy, medicines from the East and the West, ice, heat, positive thinking, curses under my breath. Did I miss anything?
I’ll be back in a while. Things to do, places……you know the drill.