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August | 2012 | PJ Newman

Too Much of a Good Thing?



Finally finished my Godzilla Marathon. All 27 REAL Godzilla movies in like 2 weeks.
If you’ve been keeping up to date (and dog knows I haven’t), you’ll remember that Nicole was concerned about permanent brain damage, as was my mother, caused by viewing all of the movies non-stop. Even I’m not that stupid…

Aside 1: You’ll recall that one of the theories surrounding the Flaming Carrot’s origin was that he read 1000 comic books in a single sitting and became the Carrot. I could only be so lucky!

My mom was at the receiving end of a Godzilla lecture yesterday. She said she was taking notes so as to stupefy her friends with her encyclopedic knowledge of the King of the Monsters. Mayhaps she was, mayhaps she weren’t. My guess is that she didn’t need note taking, that my presentation was enough to permanently and indelibly engrave itself in her aging yet still vital brain pan.

Just a few more comments and we’ll leave Godzilla on Monster Island in peace…
You knew, of course, that many actors in Godzilla’s films were also regulars in Akira Kurosawa’s great cinematic accomplishments. Kurosawa and Godzilla director Ishiro Honda were friends and colleagues at Toho Studio. Just imagining if Kurosawa had directed Godzilla instead of Honda sends the senses reeling!
The central theme running throughout the series was always anti-nuclear. The H-Bomb created Godzilla, so what good would nukes be to combat him? In one film, the Prime Minister has to lecture the United States and Russia about the dangers and stupidities of nukes. Perhaps they forgot a little known fact that Japan had been the recipient of 2 bombs of the atomic nature in 1945 and, yeah sure, go ahead and destroy Japan yet again so you won’t have Godzilla moving into your guest bedroom.
Last but certainly not least, expect a new Godzilla film within the next 2 years. With any luck, the brains behind the 1998 piece of shit had restraining orders served and cannot even whisper about going near the set.

There is an amazing local radio station that I listen to daily that responds to KMUN (91.9 fm) in Astoria, Oregon or KTCB (89.5 fm) in Tillamook. For those of you with flush toilets, you can listen online at www.coastradio.org. This station reminds me of the best of KCRW in Santa Monica in its heyday. Sometimes the programmers forget to turn their microphones off (and who among us hasn’t?), often the cd players misfire, but they play what they want to, no play lists, no formats. I have heard some of the most mind boggling music on this station. You should give it a whirl and you must donate to free radio. “Oxymoron,” you shout. Nope, sometimes you have to pay to keep it free of ads and influence.

Jill (ex-girlfriend and current…) is coming up for a week of hiking and camping. Please sacrifice small animals and missionaries of all sizes to the weather gods for sun and temperatures in the low to mid 70’s. Even leaving the weather gods out of the equation, the missionaries have to go. I’d rather have moles tearing up my lawn than these spreaders of lies and disease darkening my door. Note of caution: If you choose to burn them, missionaries can be very toxic. Be sure to stand upwind. Make certain that all pieces are burnt, as they can reanimate much like Zombies.

It’s been fun. Like to stay, but things to do, places to be, people to annoy.





Community Service? Paying it forward? Listening to too much Pink Floyd? As if!!!

So, long time readers (or those of you whom navigated back 6 or 7 years worth of this) will recall when I came home with Type 2 Diabetes. It’s gone, thank Dog, but the ramifications are not.

As in

When the good doctor confirmed the disease, he gave me some pills, said lose weight and ushered me out of the exam room. He didn’t tell me a thing about my newly acquired polysyllabic shadow. As in how I got it, what it does, what it can do in the short and long runs, how to get rid of it and will I have to buy it its own ticket when I fly?

So, here’s a quick run down to and fro and then the reason for all of this and then we’ll return you to the regularly scheduled blog….

Genetics played a bit part, somewhere between a walk-on and a regular support player. Dad’s side of the family threw that in the gene pool, but packing around extra weight and eating SAD (Standard American Diet) made me a shoe in (shoo in?). Watching my uncle lose a few body parts then his life rather quickly, recording Isaac Scott in is wheelchair shortly before he died. Enough, said I. Problem is/was, the big mistake I mistook thinking that once I started (a life sentence) these MIRACLE PILLS I could go on eating the crap that brought me there in the first place. They don’t tell you this. The doctor knew all he had to know about it, the drug companies conveniently omit certain pieces to the puzzle.

Long and short of this, I took control and sent this life threatening accessory back to think about what it had done. I learned about, owned the disease. Found out what it took to make me healthier. I promised not to preach and point fingers at people and their bad choices. I have mentioned to a few friends what I did and, if they so chose (choose?) to, where to get the information.

Now, FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY, I am extending the courtesy to you. Write and I’ll point you in the direction. It’s all free. It worked for me and my family. May or may not be your thing.

Aside 1: A neighbor recently had a couple of stents installed. Two, I think. A few weeks after the upgrade, we were talking about health issues and the stents came up (conversationally. Hopefully they are still in place!). I mentioned a couple of complications associated with the procedure that I had heard about from a very respected doctor.* My neighbor was eating an ice cream cone. When he/she saw me looking at it, half jokingly he/she said, “Don’t tell my doctor!”
I won’t have to. Next time they cut him/her open, the doctors should be able tell what was on the menu.
This person is also overweight, obese, maybe even morbidly obese. Not sure. I used to have a friend who was morbidly obese. Made me sad. I had to cut my ties with this person because I couldn’t fight excuses with facts.


If you’re interested, I’ll tell you what I know. It’s been an eye opening learning experience filled with laughter, the thing that’s not laughter, amazement and the ever present threat of a Zombie Apocalypse.



*Doctor…I remember reading a short story by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. During a conversation, one person asks the doctor to whom he is speaking with what sort of doctor he is. His reply is Real Estate.
Ask questions. If you don’t like the answers, get another opinion. Then another. No one person has all of the answers.

Same Place, Same Language


Of course I’m talking about Monster Island. It’s also been referred to as Infant Island, Mothra Island, Farro Island, Fantasy Island, Manhattan Island and a few more that don’t come to mind readily.
Why yes, Virginia, I did finally complete my Godzilla Movie collection. *
To a degree.
As in nobody, I MEAN NOBODY in their right fucking mind would consider the abomination released in 1998 to be a Godzilla movie, just as nobody considers any beverage with the words ‘Light,’ ‘Lite,’ ‘Diet,’ ‘New’ and/or ‘Improved’ to be BEER, or even drinkable for that matter.
So, yes and no. Obviously, the original ‘Gojira” and “Godzilla, King of the Monsters (Beer)’ are 2 totally different movies, even though they share a lot of the same footage. But as Gojira was a warning of the ‘New and Improved” Atomic Age which we found ourselves going to without an invitation, ‘Godzilla, King of the Monsters (Beer)’ was a warning of us fucking up everything we touched.**
Aside 1: In 2007 I needed a new passport because I thought I was going somewhere, anywhere. I don’t remember where my mom said we were going that we needed passports and I’m assuming I had recently watched a Godzilla movie where they refer to Monster Island as Farro Island.
The Faroe Islands, of course, are off the coast of Scotland where adolescent Danish (Doughnut) boys frolic with long knives and dolphins. That would certainly apply as Monster Island, but since we were going to Hawaii and Hawaii is closer to Japan than Scotland and Monster (nee Farro) Island is closer to Japan than Detroit, I wrote Farro Island on the passport application, not knowing if I meant Monster Island, Faroe Island (I assume not) or some other Island near the Hawaiian chain (Cuba?).
Turns out wherever we were going to: 1) didn’t need a passport, 2) nobody who should’ve been paying attention was and 3) we didn’t go anywhere anyway.
Obviously, the best movies are in the original Japanese with subtitles and you have the choice between the Japanese and English language versions. It’s amazing how radically different, say, Invasion of the Astro-Monster is from Godzilla vs. Monster Zero, which is how I knew it growing up and watching 9 times a week on Channel 5 in Los Angeles (their idea of Movie of the Week was to play it Monday-Friday at 7:00 pm, then twice back to back on weekends). The Japanese versions are much deeper and thought provoking than the dummied down versions in English.
Just saying
Nicole was under the impression that, when I said Godzilla Marathon, I was actually going to watch them in a single sitting, in order, in Tohoscope. Maybe if Fat Dog Pizza in Tillamook delivered. Maybe if I still drank. Maybe if I quit sleeping. No, not yet. Hell, I’d still be watching, not writing. Of course, would I just watch the original if I had the option? I have 7 films on VHS where it’s dubbed or nothing. Then there’s the other kaiju eiga (sp): Rodan, Mothra, War of the Gargantuas, H-Man, Warning From Space, Attack of the Mushroom People. It would be like the time I watched seasons 1-5 of LOST in one session.
As interesting as that was, you’ve got to be asking yourself, “Self, as interesting as that was, why didn’t he lead off with late breaking medical news?”
Do you really want to hear me play guitar again? Really? I mean, I do, but I have an obvious bias here. I truly cannot wait to get back into the studio and start working, but we’re looking at next year at the earliest. The neck is feeling better, the hand is feeling worse. Fair exchange? Hmmm…..
Aside 2: I was telling Research Assistant Mifune about the surgery and hospital stay, etc. At least he appears to pay attention. I know he’s waiting for the biscuit. Anyway, I was telling him about the cool space age thermometer wherein they just pass this little orb across your forehead and there’s your temperature. Mifune chose not to believe me. I almost told him that you could also stick it under your tongue or armpit, but then thought better of it. He knows one way and one way only.
For the time being, I’m on Injured Reserve. Trying incredibly hard to take things slow and easy.

The family was out for a week just now. Hadn’t seen my cousin David since 1977 or met his wife, although their oldest son (whom I didn’t know existed until 3 weeks ago) stayed at Mole End for a couple of nights on his way up the coast. The weather put on its Summer face and I ate a lot of grapes, although I have something in my eye.
Partial Aside: The last 2 sentences were written late last night/early this morning. I’ve been out of grapes for a few days now and the thing in my (left) eye is gone.

Cousin Dan(ny) was there, too. Haven’t seen him since 1998 or 97. He looks like our grandfather, so chances of him being adopted drop below the safe betting line.

As reported earlier in these pages, my buddy Stemi Root sent me my first release, “Standing Is Stupid,” circa 1984. I transferred it to HDR, tried to clean it up and made its CD debut yesterday. If what Matt Jorgensen (sp) says is true, I will be able to paste the cover here….


For those of you whom have been down to Mole End recently have seen the explosion of Bamboo and Japanese Maples in the yard (well, 8….). It’s something to do. My neighbor mentioned that there was going to be a BIG SALE at the Bamboo Guy in Beaver. I tried stopping by a few times, but nobody home. They (he) are (is) having a Going Out Of Business Blowout. Everything $20. Everything. So my yard has a whole bunch more today and will have even more tomorrow. Problem is, sure, the plants are $20, but the ceramic pots are still $50-80 if you can find them on sale. Let’s just say that there will be more plastic planters in the yard for the time being, or is 2 months worth of rent worth something that only a handful of people will see for the foreseeable future?
And why is the theme song for F Troop looped in my brainpan?
Speaking of birds, we are hosting a pod of Asian Pigeons or Asian Doves. Whatever (whom) they are, as I was outside trying to find the perfect spots for my newly acquired Asian greens, the dovepigeons were lining up on the power lines……just staring at me! As if they’re going to go all Hitchcock on me or worse.

I’d love to stay and chat some more, but I’ve been invited to a crab feed down the street. I hope they caught some vegan crabs.

Hey, it’s been fun. Let’s do this again. No, really…



* I spoke too soon. I was, in fact, missing Godzilla Against Mechagodilla (or Godzilla x Mechagodzilla for those of you playing at home). Come on, with Mechagodzilla in the title of 5 movies, I’m allowed one mulligan. Consider it rectified.

** Actually, I guess that applies to everything…