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Belated Happy New Year and Birthday for All of You I Missed So Far | PJ Newman


Happy New Year, my delighted readers.
So much to tell you, so many James Bond movies …

I would’ve written sooner, but I’ve spent the last month or so as a large bowl of slightly salted mixed nuts.

Been recording a bit. malaVista mixing finished (?) last week. Whatever will I do with my Monday nights? Buy my own beer, I guess. Listening party tomorrow night; they’ll probably reject most of the mixes (even though they were there when we mixed).
The WaterBabies released a cd with half of the tunes my mixes from a Tractor show last year. We went back there Sunday and cut another hour or 2 worth of material before the keyboardist moves to Australia.
Finally, the Equilateral Trio has me following them and recording their electrified string trio nuttiness.
I’ve captured them twice at a yoga studio in Fremont, but the first adventure was at a Pagan Winter Solstice Feast in Georgetown in December. It happened in a huge warehouse space decorated like a forest. I set up my gear in the afternoon then returned for the gig itself. 2 stages hosted about a dozen bands. I arrived after the feast began, but before their performance at midnight (which became 1 a.m. which became’.)
I saw a friend engaged in an animated conversation with an animated hippie chick. The hippie chick was lobbying to get a seat on the board of governors so she could light things on fire. After MaryLee complimented her on some twigs in her hair, the hippie chick threw herself to the ground and kissed MaryLee’s shoes.

Ummmm …

I spent a weekend working on a benefit show with Bill Nye the Science Guy on Bainbridge Island 2 weeks ago.
Load in was Friday night. I spent most of the evening trying to cover windows with black plastic sheets to cut out sunlight. Great plan if I had Rocket Boy brand Jet Pants seeing as how the windows ended up being about 10 feet higher than the lifts went.
Oh well, we can deal with that tomorrow.
Afterwards, we went to a local watering hole where the advertised Guinness draught came in a bottle for 2 different prices. All the waitress would say was that when she worked there 3 years ago, it truly was on tap, but didn’t think it was important enough to tell me that when I ordered. I asked her how much the $2 beers were and it took her a while to figure that out. Very very bad karaoke forced us back to our hotel, where a spirited craps game followed us to 2 rooms.
7 a.m. came early the next morning, about a week early. Someone, apparently, forced most of a bottle of single malt Scotch down my throat along with about 6 beers while I was asleep.
After securing a proper ladder, we finished covering the windows and let the games begin. My job during the show was to tend to camera cables on the ground.
The opening act was the Reptile Guy, who owns and operates a retile zoo east of Monroe. I stopped there a few years ago on the way home from skiing and thought it was pretty cool.
Big snakes, lots of big snakes.
Did I mention that I’m not a particularly big fan of big snakes?
The first thing that Reptile Guy brings out is a giant Snapping Turtle. The first thing that the giant Snapping Turtle does is to arc a vibrant stream of giant Snapping Turtle pee onto the stage and floor. Me, being downstream and downwind of this event, can guarantee my dear readers that giant Snapping Turtle pee smells like peeing after drinking Guinness for a week without peeing and then peeing.
After introducing us to an Albino Burmese Python (extra large), he brings out the vipers. Cotton Mouth, Black Mamba King Cobra …
Large venomous snakes with sharp venom delivery systems (fangs).
Reptile dude is rummaging through the plastic crates which house the snakes while talking about how fast and smart (and venomous) these snakes are when something comes flying out of the box onto the floor.
I jump.
Spring loaded snake in a can.
He chuckles.
I plot revenge.
While trying to piss off the Cobra enough to strike at him, he ends up dropping the snake after it went for his balls. The snake slithered between his legs and came out looking right at me, probably licking his snake lips and thinking PORK!

Bill Nye begins his show by imploding a couple of Coke cans.
I’m going to end the evening by emptying a couple of Tecate cans.
He then implodes an empty 55 gallon barrel.
Well, he’s got me there.
Bill spends the next hour plus talking about sundials and Mars. He seems to like both of them, but pissed off at those who don’t, namely NASA.
I don’t give a shit one way or the other for either.

So much for the day to day blow by blow.

Last week was the anniversary of my pal Jazz passing away. I spent the day moping around a bit until Mifune asked me what was up. I explained what had happened a year ago. Mifune thought about it for a moment, and then replied, ‘You know, human fuckwit, it’s ok. It was a good thing to do. That’s how I ended up here. Lucky you!
A few minutes later, he asked me why I was looking up dogs to adopt on the Internet.

Well, kids, that’s all for now. So much has transpired since I began this that if I don’t post it, I never will.